I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
