she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
