Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
