I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
