Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Randomize
