i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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