dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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