My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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