You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Randomize
