Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
