youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
