Screwed.edu
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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