the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize