C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
