i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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