Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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