glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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