What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
