i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Randomize
