Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
