the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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