you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
