well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We left an ass print on the piano.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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