I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Randomize
