Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just cropdusted the office
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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