god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
