i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
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