Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
