Im at strip club and am horny
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
