Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
