I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
