I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i already hear my dad disowning me
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
