She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
