I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
