belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
