How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
