Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
