wrigley field is MILF paradise
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I bet he comes in French.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
