I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
and she was petting her beer can
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
