I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
