When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
