Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
