so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
