Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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