Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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