ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
her facebook's as public as her vagina
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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