im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
