Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
