gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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