So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
