no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
